krishan

[10/?] bittersweet sixteen

A/N: Happy new year! I'm so sorry if I wasn't able to update right away. The last update was back in November. After that, I spent the whole month writing a novel for a writing program (this program's challenge was to write a 50k-word novel within November). So, I focused on that and put my fanfics and reading aside. After November, I spent December reading. I promised to read 50 books last year and since I put reading on hold during November, I had to catch up and finish the challenge. Now, those two things are over - Whew! - and I can go back to my fanfics again :D I hope you'll love this new update and I'm sure the title of the chapter is enough to tell you what happens here ^^

10 - Revelations & Twists

Zitao laughed his butt off when Lu Han told him what Yifan wanted.

“Look, jiejie, since when have I become a possessive brother?” Zitao asked after he calmed down.

“Well, to be fair, Auntie Han never dated anyone until Wu Laoshi came into the picture,” Soojung said as she dipped her finger into the bowl of chocolate mix they would use for another chocolate cake, “for all we know, you can be a jealous brat because your sister's busy with someone else.”

Zitao raised an eyebrow at that and turned to Lu Han, who just shrugged at him. “Jiejie, I'm sixteen, I think I've shed every jealous vein in my body already,” he said as he walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “besides, Wu Laoshi isn't as demanding as your job, he's not whisking you off to some place every weekend, you're still here a lot...so, tell him that he doesn't have to worry about me, he and I are good.”

Lu Han wondered if she should just leave at that. However, she knows that it will be good for the two men of her life to get to know each other. Yifan sincerely wants to get along with Zitao and Lu Han cannot take away that from him. She had already robbed him off sixteen years of Zitao's life. Yifan needs something more than Zitao's approval. He needs to be with him and Zitao needs to know Yifan beyond the things that Lu Han can tell him.

“Zitao, just do your sister a favor,” Yixing told the boy, “you and Yifan will make Lu Han the happiest woman on earth.”

Zitao loves Yifan. And vice versa. Zitao adores Yifan. And vice versa.

Lu Han can see it all so clearly when she watches the two. When the two are eating at the dining room. When the two are glued in front of the TV. When the two are walking ahead of her. There are times when she is sure that she can slip out of the room without being noticed. She can wander off on her own and it will certainly take hours before they realize she has gone somewhere.

On TV dramas, movies, and novels, when a long lost parent and a long lost child meet, they always have sort of an inkling. A feeling that there is something about this person in front of them that they cannot pinpoint and determine. Then, at the end of each story, they will realize it is because they have been related after all. Lu Han wonders if Yifan and Zitao have that sort of inkling too. Do they have a weird feeling inside them, confusing them and making them wonder why they feel so at ease when they are together?

Lu Han decided that before she tell them the truth, Yifan and Zitao should get to know each other more. She is happy that things are going well for the two of them. Everything is going too perfect to the point that she even suggests that they can go out somewhere without her.

“Boys day out? Again?” Yixing asks her that Saturday morning, “You're okay with that?”

“Uh huh,” Lu Han answers as she sorts out the orders for their new client, “it'll be a shame to cancel when Yifan got everything in order,” she adds, “besides, it's a hockey game and I'm a monogamist soccer girl, remember? So they'll have more fun without me.”

Yixing rolls her eyes, and asks, “Why is Junmyeon making you work overtime today anyway? I thought Saturdates with Yifan are sacred and untoucheable!”

“I never said that,” Lu Han says, laughing, “but to answer your question, Xiumin's mother-in-law passed away last night and their whole family has to be there and I fully understand that.”

“Ugh! This is why you two should've taught me how things work around here so that I can give an extra hand if you need one,” Yixing complains loud enough for Junmyeon, who is with their daughter, to hear her from the other office.

Lu Han laughs and shakes her head. “Seriously, Yixing, stay out of this place or, at least, keep your hands to yourself when you're here,” she tells her and Yixing widens her eyes in offense, “you got your studio and Junmyeon has this, the only thing that you can touch and do when you're here is your husband.”

Yixing starts coughing at that and Lu Han giggles.

“I know where you two go when the kids are taking over your apartment, my dear friend,” Lu Han says and winks.

“Let's go back to Yifan and Zitao...” Yixing reminds her and Lu Han just shakes her head again. How do you take your friend seriously when she is blushing like a tomato from embarrassment?

“Yifan and Zitao need time with each other without me,” Lu Han tells her as she got up from her desk, “even if they don't know it yet, they deserve this...it's the least I could do to make up from everything I did.”

Yixing sighs, and says, “I just like seeing the three of you together...it's a picture perfect family.”

“Sucks to say neither of them know about it yet,” Lu Han tells her, shattering her best friend's daydreams, “even when they will, everything's far from perfect.”

Lu Han finishes her job at around 7:00PM. While Junmyeon, Yixing and Hana head to watch some Disney movie, Lu Han drives straight home. Yifan and Zitao have not contacted her all day. She just assumed that they are having fun. It is possible that the two head off somewhere after the hockey game as well. However, she is surprised to see Yifan in her kitchen. Mixing some flour and egg in a bowl. All by himself.

“Where's Zitao?” Lu Han asks as she throws her bag on the living room couch.

“Oh, well...” Yifan trails off.

Lu Han raises her eyebrow.

Yifan puts down the bowl on the counter and walks over to Lu Han. “Why don't you sit down first?” he asks.

“Why don't you just answer my question?” Lu Han retorts. For some unknown reason, she feels angry and Yifan can feel this.

“Well, he went to a party with Soojung,” Yifan tells her as cautiously as he can, “Zitao doesn't want to go at first, he wanted to wait for you so we can have dinner here but Soojung begged him and he gave in.”

Lu Han scowls and goes back to her bag to take out of her cellphone.

“I told him to call or text you,” Yifan says, “he promised he would.”

“Well, he didn't!” Lu Han snaps at him and throws the cellphone back to the couch.

“I'm...sorry...” Yifan whispers, his head hanging low.

Yifan has the right to permit Zitao to do what he can do. Lu Han knows that but Yifan does not. The look Yifan has on his face is just breaking her heart. Yifan should not feel sorry because it should have been okay. It should have if only he knew the truth. It should have if she did not keep everything from him.

At the same time, the thought that Yifan allowed Zitao to go to some party irks her. She has always been the only person Zitao listens to. Even though he believes that his parents are down in Hong Kong, he only listens to her. She cannot imagine her opinions not mattering to Zitao. And that makes her feel so awful. She is being selfish and possessive when she should not be.

“I'm sorry, Yifan,” Lu Han says after awhile, “but...can we just talk about this tomorrow?”

“Are we really going to talk tomorrow?” Yifan asks, uncertain.

Lu Han nods and smiles at his insecurity. At least, she is not the only one feeling it. “I just need to get myself together,” she explains, “I don't want to say something out of anger that will cause me to hurt you when you don't deserve it.”

“I understand,” Yifan replies with a small smile, “just let me wash my hands.”

Yifan walks back to the kitchen and Lu Han follows him. She watches him clean the counters and himself. He does not need her to tell him why she is pissed off. He just knows and he feels bad about it. Lu Han will do anything for him to just shout at her because she is being unreasonable. But, no, he is still her perfect Yifan. Her best friend who can read her mind no matter what the circumstances are.

“I'll talk to you tomorrow,” Yifan says as he finishes cleaning up.

With a kiss on Lu Han's forehead, Yifan leads himself out of the apartment. After that, Lu Han picks up her cellphone again and dials Zitao's number. It took thirteen tries to get through his cellphone and all Lu Han can hear are loud music and yelling. Zitao drops the call. She is about to wreck havoc in their apartment when Zitao calls her after a minute.

“I'm so sorry, jiejie!” Zitao says over the cellphone, “I thought my text went through.”

“I'm grounding you until next week, young man!” Lu Han screams as she paces back in forth in the living room, “Did you think you can just ask Yifan to allow you to go wherever you want when I'm not around?”

“Hey, I know that's what you think I did but it's not,” Zitao tells her, “I really didn't want to go but Soojung needs someone here with her.”

“You may get the ultimate best friend award but I'm still not letting you off the hook!” Lu Han replies, fuming.

“I know, I know,” Zitao replies, “I'll take full responsibility but I'd go crazier if something bad happened to Soojung here...we're not really invited here, you see? But her boyfriend – yes, she's dating someone, it's up to you if you tell Aunt Yixing and Uncle Junmyeon about it – anyway, this boyfriend's of hers is apparently cheating on her and he organized this party, so she's going to confront him because she thinks public humiliation is the best punishment ever.”

“Wow! Do you think that will make me less worried?” Lu Han snaps, “You go home right this instant, you brat! Bring Soojung with you!”

Zitao does not say anything. Lu Han can only hear music from his end.

“I'm sorry, jiejie,” Zitao says, “but I know you understand.”

With that, Zitao ends their argument. The next thing Lu Han knows is she is calling her mother in Hong Kong in frustration. She tells her what has happened, hoping her mother will be on her side. However, upon finishing her ranting, her mother just laughs at her.

“Mama!” Lu Han exclaims in indignation.

“I'm sorry, Xiao Lu, but what do you expect from your son?” Mrs. Huang tells her daughter, “I know he and Soojung are far off from dating each other but he loves her all the same, you did the same things for Yifan and vice versa, remember?”

Lu Han rubs her face in annoyance, and whines, “Mama, you don't get it!”

“Oh, I do, I've been there,” Mrs. Huang reminds her, “well, maybe not as good as you being there for your son now, but I was there.”

“It's not the same...” Lu Han trails off as she calms herself down. She knows that her mother still tortures herself of the time when she completely deprived her daughter. However, Lu Han has forgiven her a long time ago.

“It is, Xiao Lu,” Mrs. Huang says, “would you feel good if something happens to Soojung and Zitao wasn't there because you made him come home?”

“I told him to drag her home too,” Lu Han points out, “I'm not going to leave Soojung out there on her own, she's like my daughter too.”

“But she's there to stand up for herself, remember Yifan doing that very thing for you when one of your boyfriend's cheated on you?” Mrs. Huang reminds her, giggling, “Yifan's mother won't let me hear the end of it because her son got suspended from school and the varsity team for one whole season.”

Lu Han chuckles at the memory. She was fifteen years old and she found out that her first serious boyfriend had been dating someone else from another school. How convenient. After telling Yifan and Yixing about it, Yixing headed to her house to accompany her. She was waiting for Yifan as well but he did not show up. Then, that night, she heard Yifan's mother arguing with her mother because, apparently, Yifan stalked her boyfriend at the girl's school and confronted them there. Yixing told her the next day that her good-for-nothing boyfriend had a concussion on his head because Yifan pushed him so hard at one point of their scuffle and hit the pavement.

“Now, you're laughing,” Mrs. Huang says, “you're not really mad at your Zitao for going to some party the last minute for his Soojung.”

“I guess, you're right...” Lu Han replies, shaking her head in silliness.

“You're just pissed that Yifan gave him the permission to do so,” Mrs. Huang continues, “you feel as if he overstepped his boundaries...I was infuriated with your stepfather when he took in handling your pregnancy to think he isn't your real father, but then, I would've surely killed your father if he'd interfered after walking out on us.”

Lu Han groans. “I feel bad for being so mean to him, Mama,” she says, “I just really lost it awhile ago.”

“I'm sure he didn't mean it, besides, it's not like he knows Zitao's your son,” Mrs. Huang states, making Lu Han wince, “when are you exactly going to tell him the truth?”

“Soon, Mama, soon...” Lu Han answers, “I just...want him and Zitao to have more time with each other...”

“Why does that matter?” Mrs. Huang asks, “Are you also going to tell Zitao that he's really my grandson after all this time?”

Lu Han bites her lip. “Is it bad?” she asks.

Mrs. Huang sighs, and says, “No, but...it'll be tricky...you're going to turn his sixteen years of existence upside down, Xiao Lu. Just imagine...he had been a very good boy, always following your rules, then, all of the sudden, you'll blow something this huge before him?”

“I know...Mama, but...I can't live with this any longer...” Lu Han replies, “that's why, maybe...Yifan can be there for him if he decides to hate me for the rest of his life...”

“Well, I supposed you're right,” Mrs. Huang says, “so, what are you up this for the rest of this Saturday night?”

“Wait for Zitao?” Lu Han supplies.

Mrs. Huang huffs in disagreement, and says, “Get your sorry ass out of your apartment and sleep with Yifan.”

“Mama!” Lu Han exclaims, her eyes wide.

“Oh, I don't mean it that way but, if that's how you two do it, then by all means, go!” Mrs. Huang says, laughing, “Seriously, I don't think the man will be able to sleep tonight because he knows he upset you.”

Lu Han agrees with her mother. So, after bidding her goodbye and good night, she gets up from their couch, leaves a note for Zitao and steps out of the apartment. She has wasted so much time. She should not waste any more of it over something that can be considered petty. Maybe sharing responsibilities and parenthood with Yifan will be challenging since she has been used to doing everything on her own, but she should accept that she has to give Yifan his fair share soon and there is no use being selfish over it.

The moment Yifan opens the door for her, Lu Han jumps on her feet and throws herself at him immediately.

“I'm so sorry,” Lu Han says as she kisses Yifan.

“What are you saying?” Yifan asks, returning her kisses, “I'm the one who's in wrong here, remember?”

Lu Han shakes her head, and says, “Not really. I know I can trust you with it comes to Zitao. I was just taken by surprise, I guess. It's like someone pulled the rug under my feet.”

Yifan frowns and pulls Lu Han closer to him. “I'm really sorry,” he tells her, “have you talked to Zitao already?”

“Yes, I told him he's grounded for a week,” Lu Han answers, pushing Yifan inside the apartment and closing the door behind her with her foot, “Soojung's on a mission tonight and Zitao supports her.”

“Did you tell Junmyeon and Yixing about the mission?” Yifan asks as he leads Lu Han to the sofa bed he assembled earlier in his living room.

Lu Han giggles as she removes her coat and collapses on top of Yifan. “Yes, on my way here,” she says, caging Yifan with both of her arms and legs, “did you plan to have a movie night on your own?”

“Yeah, did you think I can sleep tonight with you being so mad at me?” Yifan tells her as his hands travel up Lu Han's legs and underneath her dress, “I can't believe that you're here actually.”

“Well, I can't go to bed tonight knowing I had been so mean to you today,” Lu Han says, lowering herself to meet Yifan's lips, “I need to feel you right now.”

In an instant, Yifan changes their position and traps Lu Han underneath him. “I promise to never get in between you and Zitao again,” he tells her as he kisses her neck, “I'll make sure that he'll not do anything without your approval.”

“Don't, it's really okay,” Lu Han assures him, “when the time comes, you'll have your last say on everything.”

“Still, I'm very sorry,” Yifan replies and slips his hand under Lu Han's dress to remove the garment from her body in one swift motion.

Lu Han lifts her legs and hooks her feet on the waistband of Yifan's sweatpants before tugging it down his knees. She giggles at the lack of Yifan's underwear, and teases, “Were you really having a movie night or a porn night?”

Yifan straightens up and removes his shirt. “Well, I guess the latter now that you're here,” he answers as he lifts Lu Han's legs upward to remove her lace underwear.

“Hmmm, make-up sex, Yixing always tells me it's one of the best ones,” Lu Han muses with a smirk on her face as Yifan chuckles.

“Our friend never really knows how to shut up, huh?” Yifan says as he kisses Lu Han lightly.

“That'll be the end of the world,” Lu Han replies while Yifan slips his hand behind her to unclasp her bra, “but let's take her word for it.”

“I don't mind,” Yifan says and dives straight to one of her breasts and sucks her nipple, causing shiver to travel everywhere in Lu Han's body and making her wet down her core. Yifan immediately feels the warmth from her entrance and he did not waste anytime to slip two of his fingers inside. He wants to hear Lu Han's moans and screams right away.

Lu Han knows that time is running out. In a couple of weeks, it will be Christmas and New Year. It will be awful for her to wait after those. She has to tell the two of them as soon as possible. There is no use in skirting around it. There is no need for making an occasion out of it. Whatever she does, she will still hurt the two men important in her life. One of them or both of them will still hate her.

And as Yifan pushes himself inside her throbbing walls, Lu Han knows that she should still prepare herself for losing both of them. It will be unfair to hold Yifan's promise of not leaving her no matter what happens against him when he will have all the reasons in the world to resent her. Sixteen years. It breaks her heart. Yifan will want those sixteen years in anyway whatsoever. But there is no way Lu Han can give Yifan those back to him.

Lu Han hooks her ankles around Yifan's torso and kisses him as passionate and hard as she can. Yixing has it wrong. Yixing says makeup sex is so good because you give a lot of yourself in it just so the person can forgive you. Lu Han thinks she may be wrong. Goodbye sex demands all of you. It may be the last. There is no tomorrow. The end of the world. You became so hungry because even if you have to let go, you will do everything to keep the person with you. You can only hope that it is not going to end.

“Deeper, Yifan...please...” Lu Han begs and Yifan complies. He pushes inside her as deep as he can and Lu Han clenches her walls around him as if wishing to lock him in. He pounds hard, thrusts hard. But it can never seem to be enough for Lu Han.

“Han...I'm coming...” Yifan grunts amidst his thrusts.

Lu Han wishes it will not end. However, even her body is reaching her peak. It does not take any longer for her to come and lie down on Yifan's sofa bed, completely spent, followed by Yifan. They lay there in silence for some time. It is Yifan who broke that silence.

“You're worried again,” Yifan says and Lu Han turns to him, “I'm not sure what you're worried about but...I can assure you everything will be okay, I'm here.”

What can Lu Han give to make Yifan stop saying those words? They are too good to be true and she cannot blame him if he breaks them. Still, Lu Han forces a smile and scoots closer to Yifan, who wraps her in his arms. The evening may still be young but the need to close their eyes and sleep is strong.

Tomorrow. Lu Han swears in her heart that she will tell them the truth tomorrow.

“Han.”

Lu Han stirs and forces her eyes to open. Yifan is leaning over her with a grave look on his face. “What's wrong?” she asks as she sits up. There is already a blanket covering her naked body. Yifan must have covered them some time while she was asleep.

“Get a quick shower, we're going somewhere,” Yifan tells her.

“Why? What's going on?” Lu Han asks as she notices that Yifan has already washed himself and put on a clean pair of jeans and shirt.

“I'll tell you on the road,” Yifan answers, “just get up, we have to hurry.”

Without any more questions, Lu Han heads to the bathroom and takes a quick shower. Yifan, on the other hand, takes out a dress from his closet for her to wear and prepare some sandwich. If not for the graveness and the urgency in the atmosphere, he will think that they are going to an impromptu road trip. However, she can sense that something is not right and Yifan is being rational and stable for her. She has to thank him for that.

“Eat first,” Yifan says when they get inside his car and hands her a sandwich.

Lu Han does not dare to argue. She does what she is told. She eats the sandwich and drinks the coffee Yifan prepared for her.

“We're going to the hospital,” Yifan says as soon as she finished her food, looking straight ahead the dark road.

Lu Han looks at the time in the dashboard. 4:20AM. “Who's in...the hospital?” she asks, scared and nervous.

Yifan reaches out for her hand and squeezes it. Lu Han clings on his hand, prepping herself for the answer. “Zitao,” Yifan answers and tightens his hold on Lu Han's hand when she almost pulled it away.

“How'd you know?” Lu Han asks. Her lips quivering. Her eyes are being filled with tears.

“Yixing called your phone awhile ago,” Yifan says, calm, “she can't tell me what exactly happened because Soojung was hysterical and the only sane thing she was able to do was call for help when Zitao got into an accident.”

“Where did this happen? Did this happen at the party?” Lu Han replies.

Yifan shakes his head, and replies, “They made it home. But something came up and the kids ran out of your apartment. Zitao slipped and fell on the steps leading to the main road. Only the kids can tell the rest of the story, but Soojung hasn't calmed down yet and Shixun is in shock. Let's hope they'll be able to talk the moment we get there”

“Shixun?” Lu Han asks.

“Yeah, he was there too,” Yifan explains.

Lu Han does not understand. There is a part of her that wants to blame someone for what happened. Yifan will be the easy target. He allowed Zitao to go to that stupid party. Still, logic sticks to Lu Han. Her son made it home. Something else cause the accident.

After what seems to be like a lifetime, they arrive at the hospital. Lu Han kept on demanding to hurry up but, due to the slippery road brought by snow, Yifan maintained his driving speed to avoid them getting into a car crash.

“Where's Zitao?” Lu Han asks the moment she caught sight of Soojung. However, Soojung does not say anything and just keeps on crying.

“I'll talk to the doctors,” Yifan whispers to Lu Han and leaves her with the girl.

“Soojung, answer me!” Lu Han demands, gripping Soojung by her elbows and shaking her violently. Her fingernails digging deep into the young girl's skin.

“Xiao Lu, please, the girl's traumatized!” Yixing tells her as she pulls her friend away from her niece, “Zitao's still in the OR, they're doing the best they can to save him.”

Lu Han shakes her head. Desperation and panic are eating her inside. “I just want to know what happened, Xing,” she says as tears fall from her eyes.

“It's...it's my fault, Auntie Han.”

Lu Han turns behind her and sees Shixun looking straight at her.

Shixun takes a deep breath and looks past Lu Han to meet Soojung's eyes. “We have to tell them, Soojung,” he says and Soojung's cries lessen, “I promise to leave you out of this.”

“But Zitao...” Soojung starts.

“Zitao's in the OR, fighting for his life, Soojung!” Lu Han snaps, “Just tell me how this happened!”

Shixun opens his mouth, ready to tell the adults everything. However, Soojung beats him to it.

“Zitao's gay,” she says and Lu Han turns to her with her eyes wide in shock.

“What?” Lu Han replies. Her mind has gone numb with the fear of losing Zitao and learning about her son that she completely missed.

“Kai and Zitao have been dating for more than six months...” Shixun confesses and Lu Han feels her surrounding turning around her, “I heard what happened in the party and went over to your apartment to check on them, but when I saw Soojung wearing only Zitao's shirt, I just...”

“You thought they were cheating on Kai?” Yixing supplies.

“I'm sorry, Aunties...” Shixun replies, “it's just...Kai's my best friend...it pains to see him getting hurt when Zitao puts Soojung first all the time...”

Lu Han cannot absorb everything that is happening around her. Her son got into an accident and is in the OR. Her son is gay and has been dating someone for sometime now. Everything is just too much. Then, he will learn who his real father is. Lu Han is not just going to turn Zitao's life upside down. She is going to wreck it down to pieces.

“Argh!!!” Soojung shrieks, horrified, “Auntie, you're bleeding!”

Lu Han looks down. Blood is trickling down her feet.

The world turns mute. Lu Han can see Yixing shouting – probably for nurses – but she cannot hear her voice. People wearing white surround her suddenly. Everything is going to fast for her to follow. The next thing she knows, she is put on a hospital bed and they are taking her somewhere. She needs something solid to hold. Fortunately, her hand finds Yifan's.

“Zitao-how's Zitao?” Lu Han asks him. Zitao is a certain in her life. Zitao is the only one she can wrap her mind around right now.

“Still in the OR,” Yifan answers as he walks alongside the nurses who are taking her away.

“Stay with him,” Lu Han says. She wants to be the one waiting outside the OR but she cannot find any strength in her to get up from the hospital bed she is lying on.

Yifan nods and kisses her forehead. “Yixing will be with you, okay?” he informs her and Lu Han can picture Yixing following them behind.

“I'm sorry...I didn't know...” Lu Han whimpers.

“Shhhh, don't say anything more,” Yifan tells her with all the gentleness in the world, “you make sure nothing happens to our baby, okay?”

Lu Han nods, and replies, “Don't let anything happen to Zitao.”

Yifan smiles, and answers, “I promise you, nothing will happen to our son.”

With that, Yifan lets go of Lu Han's hand and stays behind. Lu Han tries to sit up to reach out for him again, but it is Yixing who appears before her to catch her hand and keep her on her place.

“He-he knows...” Lu Han stammers, looking at Yixing.

Yixing forces a smile as she wipes her eyes that are filled in tears, and says, “Did you really think I had enough money back then to buy all those toys and clothes for Zitao?”

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11

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Thank you! <3
Looks like Yifan has a confession of his own. I take it that Yixing told Yifan.After all she knows how much Yifan loves Luhan and would do anything for her.

Now I just wonder whether Zitao knows.
Going to take you guys to a bit of a flashback in the next chapter so that we can all know how Yixing and Yifan conspired together in keeping their own secret ^^ But no, Zitao doesn't know~ not giving you a spoiler or anything but I don't think 16 year olds are capable of acting calm and understanding like Yifan after learning that your sister is actually your mother ^^

PLOTTWIST OMG I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING
the last chapter is too much for my brain, so much happened!
Can't wait for the next ;;

The last chapter was indeed eventful~^^ Going to work on the next chapter asap, I also can't wait ;p